Nick's Disjointed Thoughts Part 1

With such a late Easter, we went straight from Easter mode to Annual BBQ mode! To further complicate and restrict my time, I had a clergy retreat at Shrine Mont early this week, which I LOVED; however, it has greatly diminished my time to write a thoughtful article to you. This feels well suited to the typical rapid-fire life of a priest at St. Luke’s, and it is a rhythm in which I typically thrive. In lieu of me trying to be profound, here is a bulleted list of things I’d like you to know more about:

Great Cloud of Witnesses

I write this on Maundy Thursday, and at the earliest you will read this on Good Friday. If you didn’t go to the Maundy Thursday service this year, then make it a point to go in 364 days at the next one! I love this service so much, and for me, it is when the roller coaster to Easter really gets going.

With all the excitement happening this week I completely neglected the Wednesday noon healing service, which is not uncommon. Generally, we only have three or four people that attend the service, and I rarely get an opportunity to mediate on the scripture, let alone read it all, before the service begins. Considering I find little to no correlation between my sermon preparation and the quality of my sermons, so going into a service blind no longer frightens me. Actually, I find it quite freeing and often notice new things and explore new topics that I would have ignored if I had the time to think about it too much. This Wednesday, I felt like I heard a portion of Paul’s letter to the Hebrews anew, which reads:

How Does One Even Get a Priest’s Collar?

Friends,

  I hope you looked at this past Tuesday’s mid-week message, because it contained an announcement about a new transparency ministry. According to the blurb the purpose of the ministry was to take some of the mystery out of the business of doing Church, and this goal would be accomplished by having a live stream of our parish administrator (Sue Bentley) working at her desk. It even included a nine-minute segment of Sue answering e-mails…riveting stuff. At the end there was a link where you could sign up to watch the stream whenever and wherever you like. Of course, the link took you to the April Fools page on Wikipedia. I thought this was hilarious, and I hope you did too.

Ghosts

I am consistently embarrassed by the stupid things that I once embodied, and one day I will be embarrassed by the stupid things that I currently hold dear. Ghosts of past hurts and embarrassments once haunted me nightly leading to poor sleep and frustration, but in recent years I have held a more friendly attitude toward these ghosts. If you have them as I do, you should learn to trust your ghosts, because they are often telling you something true of the past. The very fact that they are painful, embarrassing or uncomfortable is evidence that you have grown. Ghosts are uncomfortable, but generally that are a good sign.

Northwest Arkansas

Friends,

Last Wednesday I flew to Northwest Arkansas to visit my sister, and I got back on Monday. This trip came about when we found out that my brother was going through an unexpected and unfortunate transition in his life. He knew that he was to be in limbo this past weekend, so he reached out to my sister and I saying he needed a trip as a distraction. I do not think my brother has ever asked me for anything, so this came as a shock. He knows that I am there for him and we are all very close, he is just the sort of person who is content sleeping in a mud puddle (literally), and is never in want. My sister and I were more than happy to oblige, and for four full days we stayed in an airbnb in downtown Fayetteville Arkansas and ate decadently. I mean like, 15 different restaurants and a surprise pop-up tiki bar speakeasy in the basement of an art gallery that was surprisingly luxurious sort of decadent, and I didn’t even realize tiki bars could be fancy, let alone be in Northwest Arkansas.

Carving out Time

  There is something about proximity that enhances empathy. Maybe we should strive to have our feelings act in more equitable ways, and though we may try to achieve this, I think we are simply made to be more in tune to the joys and struggles of those nearby. Whether this is good or bad, it is what it is.

Avocados and Ancient Giant Ground Sloths

Years ago, I watched the most bizarre and fascinating documentary on YouTube about avocados and ancient giant ground sloths. Apparently, avocados once relied on giant sloths to spread their seeds, after all, the animal would need to be massive to digest and spread the seeds. They went on to say that avocados would have been doomed to extinction if humans had not swept in to cultivate the plants, spreading the seeds in the process. There’s one slight problem with this; THEY WERE TOTALLY WRONG!!

My Favorite Sweater

Friends,

My first day on the job as your priest was supposed to be on Martin Luther King Jr Day of 2021. It was a holiday, so the office was closed, and I ended up walking the E Boulevard Dr to W Boulevard Dr loop three times talking about Church stuff with the future Senior Warden Richard McFarland, who was also on my search committee. Both of our minds and souls seemed to be filled to the brim with ideas and energy. I left our walk overwhelmed and excited, and I remain thankful for the fact that he was my first friend in Alexandria.

The Time Between

The time between Christmas and school going back is somewhat nerve-racking, exciting, and overall, a good season in the life of the Church.

We just got done with one of our busiest weeks of the year, if not the busiest, and we can enjoy a bit of rest knowing that things went really well. I haven’t seen the Church so full at a 5:00 pm Christmas Eve service before and the overall mood was incredibly joyful. There is a lot coming up that I am excited about such as the new work outreach, sacred ground and EfM are beginning. If you want to know what these esoteric things mean, then I encourage to dig deep into our e-news! We also have another ambitious Lenten season ahead of us with another Bishop’s visit at the Easter Vigil, which is something I thought I would never get to see again. 

Thankful

Friends,

It is Thursday, December 26th, and per my contract I am officially off, and spent the last two hours assembling a Lego train set with my eldest son. He is five and is on the cusp of being able to do all of that stuff by himself, but still needs me to help, for which I am grateful.

I am grateful for being needed, and I am also grateful for those whom I need. I am not sure how I could have made Christmas as joyful as it was without my wife, parents and infinitely energetic mother-in-law, and I am finding hope in all of the Christmas cards Leandra and I have received, something for which I have taken for granted in years past. I must confess, that we haven’t done a Christmas card in two years now, but we are determined to start the good practice next year.

Hey Darkness, Go Take a Hike

Big churchy days are interesting, because the mood of the service is typically dictated. Ash Wednesday is humble and a bit sad. I always feel a sense of longing on All Saints Day. Advent is meant to be filled with anticipation, while Christmas and Easter feel like joy incarnate. Going to Church can be tricky when your mood doesn’t match tone of the day. What if you show up to Church during lent and it’s all drab and contemplative and you just received the best news of your life? The dissonance between the joy in your heart and the somber tone of the service could leave you squirming in your seat. Likewise, going to Christmas services while mourning or fearful could feel impossibly difficult.

Christmas is Coming

Saturday morning will be busy at St. Luke’s.

We will be “greening” the Church, which officially starts at 8:00, but for all intents and purposes it will start at 7:15. Ladders will go up to hang the massive wreaths, garland will go everywhere, the Christmas tree will go up in the narthex, and by Sunday morning it will be clear that we are ready for Christmas. My special contribution is that I always put some ornaments on the tripods to make them look like Christmas trees. The only downside of our amazing new cameras is that I will have to forgo this beloved bit of decorating.

St. Nicholas of Myra Saving Pickled Children and/or Drowning Sailors

Dear St. Luke’s,

I wanted to preface this by saying that I believe the content of this article to be true, but I know myself well enough to realize that subconsciously I am mixing up details, so if you take the time to fact-check me you will likely find many errors. I could take the time to review my sources and offer citations, but like many of you this season, time is something I don’t have. However, even if I had all of the time in the world, I probably still wouldn’t check, because I am more interested in telling a good story.

The Luther Bowl

The best thing I did in seminary was play football. Well, sports in general, but it started with football. There is a big inter-seminary football tournament at Gettysburg Theological Seminary called the “Luther Bowl”, and a particularly intense part of our orientation to life at the seminary was getting ready for the big game. We had weekly practice to prepare, and it was understood that regardless of interest or physical ability, the Luther Bowl was something we were going to do together.

Mortality, Halloween, and Elections, OH MY!

  It is Halloween, and this is the last article I will write before All Saints’ Day, which is this coming Sunday, and the presidential election on Tuesday. This is the one year I have both of my sons at St. Luke’s Day School, and we just got done walking in the Halloween Parade. My youngest, who is only two, freaked out when I put him in his costume, which was a great reason to put him on my shoulders and carry him for the parade. Just this one year I got to dress up as a dinosaur along with both of my sons while we walked around the Church with all of the other parents cheering. It was glorious.

Give to Grow

Friends,

I cannot believe it is already stewardship season again at St. Luke’s! This is an anxiety inducing time for the leadership and staff for the Church. However, it is also an exciting time, because it forces us to imagine how we can grow more into our ministry. I thought I would take this time to give a few practical bits of information about money and St. Luke’s, and the honest reason why I tithe my salary to the Church.

  First, here are some things that might help you understand how our money situation works:

  •  Right now, we are asking you to pledge for 2025. Pledging is just telling us what you expect to give in the next calendar year, which we will use to plan and budget accordingly. In the stewardship material you can see that we hope to add two new staff positions. To accomplish this we will need to increase our pledged income by a significant sum. This is aspirational, but if we can pull it off then we will be in tremendous shape for the future.

    • Remember, you have to pledge every year. Even if you have auto-payments set up, that doesn’t count as a pledge. We need something from you every year with your plans or we can’t use it for the budget.

  • Giving is different than pledging. If you give in a way that we can track (we can track online giving or checks. If you put cash in the plate, we won’t know it’s from you!), then it will be added to your statement. If you pledged and you are giving toward your pledge, make sure to let us know in the comment section or in the check memo line.

  • We don’t get any money from the Diocese! The money moves the other way. We could not function without the Diocese, and giving to the Diocese is an important way of supporting the greater Church. We take an average of the last three years of income from pledges and plate offerings, and give ten percent of that to the Diocese.

    • On a similar note, you may have noticed that we have cell phone towers in the steeple. We cannot use those funds to support the operations of the Church, and the funds we receive from that rent only go to capital improvement, like our new parish hall.

    • The gist is, we don’t have a magical source of funds to pay salaries and keep the lights on, which is why we need your contributions!

  • You will hear us occasionally talk about tithing. Tithing is giving ten percent of your income to the Church. Those who practice it consider it a spiritual practice.

  • Our average pledge is about $4,800.00. Giving is not a competition, and I generally try not to know who gives what. If you give below or above that amount you will receive no guilt or special treatment. This is just for you to know how much people give for us to maintain our ministries.

  • This year we are doing a huge push for stewardship, not just to maintain the status quo, but fundamentally change how we do ministry. Please give to grow our ministry and help us thrive!

Ok, so now it’s time for the honest reasons why I tithe my salary to the Church. This is a symptom of my privilege, and an old insecurity about if I am giving enough. I was twenty-six years old when I started to make grown-up money, and less than a year later I got married to someone who also made money. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have omnipresent anxiety about my checking account, which up to that point was always low. I immediately did two things when those checks started to come in. First, I went out for a steak dinner almost every night, and then I felt incredibly guilty about this perceived indulgence.

Virginia Theological Seminary has its flaws, and seminary is just an innately difficult time, but I made it through debt-free because of the generosity of that institution. Then I was in my first Church being overwhelmingly and enthusiastically supported by a congregation that paid me, and helped Leandra and I get ready for our upcoming wedding. Going from a “getting by” mentality to being showered with resources and support was a shock to the system. I suddenly became aware of how privileged and fortunate I was to be in that position. The steak addiction took years and a possible act of God to break, but I started tithing my salary back to the Church right away, which changed my weird and amorphous feelings of guilt to an act of thankfulness and appreciation.

The Episcopal Church is flawed, and I love it because it doesn’t pretend that it is not, and I would not be who I am without the Church. The schools, seminaries, charities, disaster relief efforts, music programs, retreat centers and the rest of the good things that stem from the Church could not exist without vibrant local congregations. I expected to agonize every year about how much to give to the Church I worked for, but since I tithe there is no need for agonizing. I give ten percent, I feel good about it, and I go on with my life knowing that I am supporting a tiny sliver of the foundation of our big and wonderful Church.

  An unexpected result of this giving habit was that I became increasingly thankful for the ministries within the Churches. Giving stopped feeling like being compelled or guilted into doing something, and it became more about being part of the team that was getting stuff done, helping people, and insisting on being a growing Church in a world that becoming increasingly ambivalent toward religion. I was “all in” with my congregation, and giving out of a spirit of thanksgiving made my giving joyful.

  The Episcopal Church may or may not have affected you to the same degree that it has affected me, but if you are reading this, then St. Luke’s has undoubtedly affected you. Whether it is military family with us just for a year or two, life-long members, or stranger just peaking their heads in for the first time, we strive to give people a home.

  Thank you for making St. Luke’s your home, and if you are able I encourage to give so we can grow.

 

Blessings,

Nick

Sacred Rocks and Exxon Mobile

The Schar Cancer Center Institute is housed in the former corporate headquarters of Exxon Mobile, and the building very much looks like it was a former corporate headquarters. The grounds, architecture, much of the art and character of the place feels more corporate than medical. This is not meant to be a negative judgment at all. There are unique advantages to this medical complex versus INOVA Fairfax, which is right across the street. INOVA Fairfax is nearly impossible to navigate, while Schar was built all at one time. Though it’s purpose is now different, it is significantly easier to get around, and just feels more intentional than other hospitals that were added to gradually over the course of decades. With that being said, when I first went there it felt a little soulless. For some reason I really hate the fake waterfall that is by the front door. I just don’t like things that are made to look like things they are not, like the oil candles that look like wax candles for the altar. I like the fact that Carol takes such good care of our wax candles. It’s messy, but feels real.

The Future is Never Simple

I have for you a brief tale of two of my pet-peeves with our campus.

 

For our first segment, let me tell you about the cursed trash-eating squirrels that would routinely terrorize the day school. We once had maybe eight residential style trash cans in the alley and we were part of the county’s routine trash pick-up. The cans had been there for as long as anyone could remember, and squirrels had chewed large holes through them. I hated this, because trash would blow everywhere and it would often smell bad and get over-filled. For our Church members this was a non-issue, because the problem was hidden and few had any dealings with it. For me, not only as the priest but a new Day School parent, this was terrible. I was often the first person to walk down the alley in the morning to drop off my then two-year-old son who was just beginning school. On our cute journey to school, we would routinely spook this family aggressive squirrels getting their breakfast in the trashcans, and they would explode out of the squirrel sized holes, bolt to the fence and thoroughly scare the daylights out of us.

Discretely Funding the Discretionary Fund

We are getting in full swing here at St. Luke’s! This Sunday we will offer the blessing of the animals at both services and after the 10:00 am in the grove for whomever wants to swing by. We also have the children’s choir singing for the first time this ministry year, which is always a great sign of things to come. This is also the last weekend before the pumpkins arrive and we get our pumpkin patch going! With the arrival of decorative gourd season and cooler weather, we embrace the annual ritual of doing things a bit differently.